Why I’m a Total Dick (in the Music Business)
By T. Perry Bowers
The other day I was meeting with a potential client about rehearsal space and I totally lost my cool. I completely forgot the motto, “the customer is always right.”
It happens to the best of us sometimes. My potential client was asking good questions. It’s just that he and I kept getting our wires crossed somehow. He kept asking me the same question over and over and I kept trying to answer it. Finally after the fifth time, I rolled my eyes and sighed before asserting the answer, somewhat condescendingly. Well, needless to say, I lost the sale. I never heard from the guy again. I did send him an apology text and email, but of course I got no response. He thought I was a total dick. And, I was. Here’s why I sometimes am:
I Don’t Appreciate What I Have
There are a lot of folks who get up and go to work at a job that is much less interesting than mine. Hard labor and office cubicles are my worst nightmare. But, some days, I forget how lucky I am and I pity myself for having to answer all of these “rudimentary” questions. Every so often, when I have a meeting with a potential client, I just get all moody. I forget it’s an opportunity for me to meet a fellow musician who has dreams and aspirations just like me. If I activate my curiosity, I can almost always find common ground. If I take a moment in my day to remember how lucky I am, I’m not such a dick.
I’m Not a Teacher
A lot of my customers are just starting out on their musical journey. It might be the first time in the recording studio for a newly formed band. Maybe they finally realized they should upgrade their pickups on their guitar. All of these things are rudimentary to me. So, sometimes I get annoyed when people don’t know what I know. They want me to teach them things! I think to myself, “I just provide a service, do I have to teach you about it, too?” I don’t get paid to teach. I get paid when I sell a service. But, what I need to remember is, teaching is essential to my business. Without teaching and helping people, I’m nothing. Beginners are my lifeblood. I can be such a dick when I forget about that.
My Customers aren’t Worthy of my Time
My biggest revenue generator is rehearsal space. It also requires the least amount of effort on my part. So, when I get into a week long discussion involving countless phone calls about someone’s daughter who might have potential as a singer, sometimes I get annoyed. I want to go home and be with my family. I forget these people are the same people who are going to be in the music business their whole lives if they are any good. I forget when I’m talking to somebody who seems to be clueless, they might talk to five other people that day about how much of a dick I was on the phone. On the other hand, if I can just remember how lucky I am, they might tell somebody how nice I was. And that’s what I want.
I’m Tired
My family wakes up around seven o’clock in the morning. I try to get up around six, so I can write and get some quiet head space before my three girls and wife take over the house. When they come down, my day of infinite duties begins. Between taking care of my family and running my business, I don’t get much down time. By the time seven pm rolls around, I’m ready for about twenty minutes of Netflix and my pillow. So, cry me a river – I’m forgetting to appreciate what I have again. No one gets a free pass in this life. I’ve never known anyone to say, “yeah, my life is really easy. I’m happy and energized all day long.” When I’m really tired, I have to remember what I was lucky enough to spend my day doing what got me so tired. If I forget, I’m just a dick.
Collecting Rent from Musicians Sucks
If you run into me on the first of the month, be careful, I may just bite your head off. I’m cranky, anxious and sometimes downright ornery. I’ve been collecting rent from musicians for over twenty years. The first of the month is due day. Actually in the last few years, it’s gotten better, but it’s like a body memory for me. I start anticipating excuses, emergencies and a lot of whining. The majority of musicians are fine, they pay on time and appreciate having a clean, secure and functional place to practice.
But sometimes the drummer didn’t have a job all month or the bass player went to jail or the lead singer is way too hung-over to drive the rent check down to the space today. Yeah, I’ve heard it all!
If your rent isn’t submitted to me by midnight on the first, you’ve essentially given me your thirty day notice on your room. This may seem harsh, but it is not your home, it’s a privilege, not a right. It’s a luxury to have jam space and if you can’t afford, it, move on, but don’t give me excuses. If you respect the way I do business and pay your rent on the first, I will not be a dick. The truth is, I want to spend my time playing my instruments too, not collecting rent from you.
Many People in The Music Business are Phony
I actually feel ok about my cynicism here. This music business is full of people with bloated egos and unrealistic expectations. They call me on the phone wanting to rap or sing me a song to show me how talented they are. They “need” to record in the most prestigious (and expensive) studio in the city to capture their sound. They ask me for favors that will never be returned and want to give me “a piece of the action” in return for free services. In reality they just waste my time blabbering on about how successful they’re going to be. I’ll admit this annoys me and if you come to me with this attitude, I probably will be a dick.
However I’ll also try to help you understand that is not how the music business works. No one is going to “sign” you because you’re a loudmouth about your talent. Powerful people in the music business only want to work with people who can bring real dollars to the table. So, get your egos in check, write a great song, pack a club, shoot a creative video. Make a piece of art that can turn into revenue. Stop talking and start doing. Then I promise I won’t be a dick.
So, if you run into me in my studio and I’m a total dick, ask yourself why. I’m sorry. I sincerely mean it. If I forget how lucky I am and I’m a dick to you, I apologise. It’s my fault … well, unless you don’t pay me rent on the first, in which case you totally deserve it!
